Coffee solves everything
by Derekari
Summary: Mornings can sometimes be brutal, especially to an officer. Fortunately Blackwatch is also equipped with a coffee maker. Lt. Riley is still quite a sight in the mornings.


While Colonel Rooks was known for his rather good poker face, he had admittedly some difficulties in keeping his amusement from showing when he entered the small break room early in the morning. What supposedly was Lieutenant Riley looked more like a walking corpse pouring himself a mug of coffee. Even from the doorway it was easy to see the dark bags underneath the lieutenant's eyes, not to mention his clothes were a complete mess: his turtleneck was only half-tucked in his pants, and those said pants were barely hanging on his hips anyway.

"That's not exactly a suitable look for a fresh lieutenant, Riley," Rooks remarked to his trusted aide as he stepped in, trying to reach a condemning tone in his voice. He didn't manage it perfectly, but well enough to get Riley's attention.

"No shit?" the lieutenant barked back, sounding like he had a killer cough. "Fuck off."

Now letting a humored grin curl on his lips, Rooks walked next to Riley and picked a mug for himself. He nudged the mug towards Riley in a remarking way, and even though the lieutenant gave him a murderous glare to go along with it, he shared some of the black poison with the colonel.

"Rough night? I know a few tricks to help with a hangover," Rooks questioned, even though he could almost guess this wasn't just a case of a badly chosen drinks.

Riley croaked back a dry, throaty scoff: "I fucking wish. Can't remember the last damn time I got that wasted."

With that, the lieutenant emptied approximately half of his coffee with one, big gulp. Rooks just chuckled, settling for an ordinary sip from his mug- though he almost spat even it right back. Not that the colonel was usually the one to complain about strong coffee, but just how many packages of instant coffee had Riley used for this stuff? It was a miracle that it didn't eat itself right through the bottom of the mug- the damn stuff was like tar!

Yet, Riley seemed to drink the hazardous black liquid with great contentment, even giving out an accepting sigh as he lowered the mug. He shook his head and blinked a few times, feeling the blessed powers of caffeine kicking in. He was as far away from the religious type as one could be, but right then he could've sung flattering praises to the Lord for creating coffee beans. While he was at it, though, he could just as well curse the said Lord for quite a few things.

"Those damn rookies- where do they pick them from?" the lieutenant growled lowly, speaking more to himself than to Rooks. "With a fucking 'hey, we need the biggest fucking idiots on Earth' add on a damn magazine? Fuck!"

The cursing made Rooks forget the poison in his hand for a moment, an amused grin returning on his face.

"Ah, so you lost your late night paperwork virginity?" the colonel couldn't bite back a laugh and for a next brief instant it looked like he'd get a mugful of hot coffee right on his face. It would've probably served him just right, but Riley got a hold of himself before committing the act. Either the thought of having to fill more papers in explanation of why he had boiled the colonel's face scared him, or he just didn't want to waste a mug of coffee like that. At any rate, Rooks was served another of Riley's patented silent-promise-of-murder looks instead.

"Got that right," the lieutenant mumbled venomously, sipping his coffee again.

"Welcome to the life of an officer, Riley," Rooks patted his aide sympathetically on the back. He, if someone, knew that paperwork was a total pain in the ass- and the first night with towers of papers to be filled was always the worst.

"God-fucking-dammit fuck," going by the sound of the growling, Riley shared Rooks' opinion. The lieutenant poured whatever was left in his coffee mug down his throat and turned to get a refill.

Rooks eyed his mug doubtfully – he hadn't touched it since the first try. Carefully, as if handling some kind of acid, he brought the mug up and took a small sip. Damn stuff still stung like a kick to the face. Whatever made Riley drink such poison like water had to be worth hearing. Rooks should dig up those files later and read them through- he could always use a little laugh.

"I have to say, I'm rather surprised you actually did the paperwork," Rooks noted when Riley turned back to him. "I wouldn't have been surprised if you had decided just to burn them."

"Well, it passed my mind a few times," Riley admitted, managing a half of a smirk before sipping his coffee, this time in a bit more patient way. He was slowly beginning to look more like a human being. Something in that tar was clearly working miracles for him. Rooks, on the other hand, pondered whether to pour the stuff down the sewer or not. He wasn't fancying for a heart-attack.

"I also thought that I'll just shoot those damn morons and say they were KIA," Riley added with a bit wider grin, clearly more than pleased with the thought. There was no hiding that he had imagined a thousand ways to brutally slaughter the morons who had caused the countless files to overtake his desk.

"Sounds charming, but if that was possible, do you think you'd be here now?" Rooks chuckled, cocking an eyebrow at his aide. It made Riley's grin die off, as if he was a small boy to whom father had just said that he can't get a new shiny toy car.

"Point taken," Riley sighed in a defeated way, taking a gulp of coffee to wash down his disappointment.

"But I wasn't a total idiot as a rookie," the lieutenant added sharply after lowering the mug. "I did good job, I just didn't like those cocky bastards bossing me around."

Rooks couldn't help but chuckle: "Maybe your rookies just don't like you."

"Well, boo-hoo, the feeling is mutual," Riley rolled his eyes and finished his second mug. He turned to pour himself yet another mug, but only faced the horrendous sight of an empty coffee pot. A short chain of curses passed his lips once again- and then he noticed the nearly untouched mug in Rooks' hand, his eyes locking on it.

Without a word, the colonel offered his mug to his aide. The generous move got a bit surprised look from Riley, but the lieutenant accepted the mug nonetheless. Truth to be told, Rooks was glad he could get rid of the black poison without admitting he couldn't drink it with a straight face.

"You know, you could recommend the worst lot of our new men to a red-zone mission," Rooks suggested while Riley began emptying the last drops of the coffee, almost causing the lieutenant to choke.

"I wouldn't recommend them to fix a damn toilet-," Riley began, staring at the colonel as if he had just suggested the lieutenant to punch himself in the face. Rooks just raised his eyebrows at him in a remarking way, trying to look for some gears inside the lieutenant's head. He could almost hear them clicking as they began turning when Riley finally caught his drift.

"Ingenious. Fucking ingenious," Riley almost purred, a wide, crooked grin spreading on his face. Rooks had learned to recognize that devious look over the years. He could tell that Riley's men were in darn deep shit now, and he didn't even feel sorry. He would, however, demand every last detail of how the idea had been fulfilled later.

As if raising a toast, Riley raised the mug victoriously back on his lips. However, just as the very last droplets of coffee were about to slide into his mouth, something seemed to strike him and he lowered the mug: "Wait a fucking second- is that the reason I spent so much time in the red zones when I was a rookie?"

Rooks flashed him an amused grin which could've been enough of an answer even on its own: "If you only knew how frustrated some of your early commanders were when you just kept coming back, no matter where they sent you."

"Motherfuckers," Riley breathed out and Rooks couldn't but help but laugh.

"What do you say if I buy you a drink tonight, you tell me what those idiots did, and then we figure out a suitable mission for them?"

"Deal."


End file.
